and you will eventually end up in King’s Lynn. Or as I like to call it, the “twilight zone” . King’s Lynn, for those that need a quick geography lesson, is about as far east as you can travel in the UK without falling off the edge of the world. I am not sure I have ever driven so far to reach somewhere so devoid of soul or character, and also so utterly flat! Perhaps I am being a little harsh, after all, 8.5 hours of driving for 90 minute conversation, that could have been so easily taken over the phone, can make me a little tetchy to say the least. So, in order to provide a more balanced view of what King’s Lynn has to offer I have google’d it, and have come up with a list of interesting facts. Here they are:
1. King’s Lynn spawned Alan Hill (no relation to Damon or Graham) who is the BMX World Champion!
2. A new ASDA Store has recently opened!
3. ….
There is no 3. sorry.
I’d suggest if you want to visit Asda, there may be a store closer to you.
Also, when I was a kid, they weren’t called BMX’s they were called Raleigh Grifters. I never coveted such things, I was much more into the Raleigh Chopper with it’s cool saddle and and proper sturmey archer gear stick, which was strategically placed so that any degree of hard breaking would lead you to slide off the ridiculous banana seat and strike your goolies on the insanely silly gear lever. Who cares about health and safety, it was COOLER than a skateboard.
I hasten to add, I NEVER owned a Chopper, the rich boy across the road owned one, but he had all the good toys, my mum was never in the position to buy us such frivolities, and as looting (as seen recently in London and elsewhere) hadn’t been invented yet, we tended to just make do!
Actually, I’m in the mood for a confession, I once “looted” a cadburys flake from the cornershop when I was about 8. My mum found out and marched me back down the road, made me hand it back and apologise to the shop owners. I wonder how many parents are marching their kids back into Tottenham right now, clutching 40″ LCD TV’s. I suspect the majority won’t be, they will be too busy watching Jeremy Kyle.
I of course have made up for my “deprived” childhood since, and now have 2 lovely bikes, and they both get a fair amount of use. I can certainly build up a lot of speed on the flat, and going down hill, but the merest whiff of a decent gradient can be a real challenge for someone of my fitness level. Perhaps King’s Lynn does have something going for it after all!
